This is totally my psych major moment of glory! Unfortunately, I don’t always practice what I preach (don’t ask my husband, he will say I NEVER practice what I preach). I could be the crowned Queen of the Debby Downers. Really. There are going to be so many moments along the way that deplete every ounce of mental, physical, and emotional strength you have left. You will be discouraged, disappointed, and angry. Trust me, I have been there. Those feelings are valid. Take a moment to throw yourself a pity party, eat a pint of ice cream, then try to find a productive way to move forward. You could also try therapy…therapy is productive…and by therapy I mean retail therapy…it always works for me 😉 Getting stuck in a negative mindset is not only proven to weaken your immune system (which you will want in tip-top shape when you travel to get your baby!) but it will also start to cloud your judgement moving forward.
The other thing about negativity is that you don’t want it to overflow into your life post placement. There will be times when adoption becomes the topic of conversation, in front of your child, and difficult questions may surface. When they are old enough to understand these conversations you have with others, please do not speak unkindly about their biological ties. Regardless of how young they are when they come into your care or how “tragic” anyone deems their conception and birth, their very identity has roots with their first families and what you say about them can be damaging to the self-worth of those babies you swore to protect. Anytime your child asks specific questions about their beginning, be honest in an age appropriate way that keeps a positive spin on the circumstances! Keep the conversation positive, otherwise keep the conversation private. You owe no one an explanation for your child’s existence except for the fact that they were made to be loved by you.
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well,” (Psalm 139:14).